In situations of conflict, senses are heightened and your non-verbal communication is under scrutiny. Certain movements are associated with conflict and aggression and usually they happen without us being aware of them. For example, hands being raised, pointing, stepping forward, leaning forward, etc. Although, not strictly considered part of non-verbal communication, other factors impact on how we are perceived during conflict; such as raising our voice, speeding up our speech and talking over the client. This article looks are what is driving your non-verbal communication and, how to master your non-verbal communication to reduce conflict with a simple technique that will ensure you master it for the better.
As part of the conflict management training, which we have run for over 16 years, we have developed a useful definition of conflict. It’s a good starting point to mastering our non-verbal communication. Conflict can be defined as using force to change a person’s opinion or to make them take a course of action.
While most of us would not consider ourselves forceful by any means, there can be situations where most of us can become a little bit forceful. For example:
- When clients will not accept what we are saying or explaining.
- When clients will not listen.
- When clients will not do what we are requesting.
When we become frustrated, we tend to get a rush of adrenaline and can frequently lose awareness of how we are behaving. Without even realising it, we can become a little forceful in our attempt to get the client to accept what we are saying. This is not surprising as the way we tend to act when we become frustrated, is a well-worn path we have developed since childhood, and one we often return to again and again.
When we use even a small amount of ‘force’ our non-verbal communication ‘responds’ to support what we are trying to achieve. If we are trying to ‘force’ someone to accept what we are saying our voice may rise, our hands will be much more animated, and we may lean closer to them to emphasise our point.
How do you master your own non-verbal communication? – avoid using force!
When managing challenging clients and situations, notice when you may be becoming even a tiny bit forceful and ease back. That will ensure your body relaxes and the client will not be seeing any non-verbal signals from you that they are inclined to react to.
You have a much greater chance of having a client accept what you are saying if you do not become frustrated and forceful. It’s often the case that clients will not accept what you are saying, no matter how long you try to convince them. It’s better to relax and agree to disagree.
If you would like to run any conflict management training, we would be pleased to hear from you or you can access our eLearning courses.