We discuss this and 5 steps to navigate conflict and improve situations below…
“I don’t do conflict” or “I never experience conflict” are common responses when people are asked about the conflicts they encounter at work. To some extent, I can relate. I don’t want to cause conflict, and I put a lot of thought into how best to approach situations to ensure my words don’t escalate into disagreements. Like most people, I sometimes decide that saying nothing is the easiest option.
However, I also recognise that we sometimes perceive certain conversations as potential confrontations, while others may see them as simple discussions. I remember a time when someone approached me during a course lunch break for a quiet chat. They said, “My manager assigns me more work than the other three members of my team, and I find it stressful. I am considering finding another job.”
I asked if their manager was approachable, as that can be a factor in whether someone feels comfortable raising concerns. They responded that their manager was very approachable. I summarised: “You have an issue that seems straightforward to explain, and you have a manager who is approachable. What’s stopping you from having the conversation?”
Their response: “I don’t want to confront them about it.”
We have a tendence to see any issue we are uncomfortable with as a potential conflict. If the issue is easy to explain and the manager is approachable, I would suggest you are heading for a conversation rather than a confrontation.
Avoiding conflict by not addressing the issue or even leaving a job to escape it might seem like a solution. What happens if the same pattern repeats itself elsewhere? Choosing not to engage in difficult conversations, whether at work or in personal life, can mean that important issues go unresolved and relationships stagnate rather than grow.
Big and small life issues benefit from discussion, with questions like:
- How will this new baby impact our relationship?
- How do we adjust now that I’m your manager?
- How do we discuss being overlooked for a promotion?
When these topics go unspoken, opportunities for understanding and progress are missed, creating space for stress and frustration. Leaving a job simply because a conversation feels like a confrontation would be a real loss.
5 Steps to Navigate Conflict and Improve Situations
- Stay respectful – The other person may react emotionally, but if you remain respectful, they are more likely to ease up and respond respectfully in return.
- Recognise the pool of emotion – If past clashes have occurred, lingering emotions may take time to work through.
- Start with “I” statements – Saying “I have noticed…” is usually better than “You always…”
- Listen to understand, not to correct – Take the time to understand the other person’s perspective, even if you disagree.
- Stay respectful – Yes, it’s worth repeating! Give respect, and you’re more likely to receive it in return.
Taking the risk of a little conflict can lead to stronger, healthier relationships. Why not try it?
Book your training today and start turning conflict into opportunity!