This article is focused on the client’s motivation behind angry communications, their impact and how you can respond. Read on to learn how to manage angry correspondence and social media.
If your client is engaged in angry communications, the issue is important to them. In many situations due to your organisation’s policies, procedures or resources you may be unable to give the client what they want, which can generate many negative emotions for the client.
It can be helpful to consider that conflict consists of content (the issue under discussion) and emotions (how the client feels about the issue). For example, the conflict can be 30% content plus 70% emotion. From the conflict management training we run we have developed some powerful insights into how to manage challenging emotions and their impact.
It can be surprising how annoyed a client might become about an issue that may seem straight forward to you. Remember though, they may also be experiencing ‘emotions’ from past events, that may be coming up again. For example, not granting their request may bring up thoughts such as, ‘no one ever listens to be’, ‘I’m always the one that gets overlooked’, ‘why me?’, etc. By being more aware that there can be thoughts and feeling at play in the ‘background’ for the client, can help your understanding and how you respond to the conflict.
Here are some insights and actions that may assist you to manage negative correspondence.
Persistent offenders: UK law is based on the issue of reasonableness. If the client is insisting on corresponding long after an issue has been decided, that might not be considered reasonable. There may be grounds to inform the client that your organisation will no longer continue corresponding on the matter. This may be better managed by a supervisor or manager where due consideration is taken of the time being spent on the correspondence versus what is being achieved.
Control what you can control: Clients have a right to their opinions and feelings and will usually express them whether we like it or not. You can ‘control’ your responses but ultimately not the opinions and feelings of the client.
Make time: Your second reaction is often better than your first reaction. If you can, take time before responding (even a few minutes can help). Your own emotions usually subside over a short time giving you more capacity to respond appropriately.
Check what you have typed: Ask yourself a simple question when finished typing – ‘am I defending myself or having a go back’. Keep to the facts and avoid any comments that are aimed at shifting blame onto the client.
Acknowledge emotions: As emotions play such a major part in conflict it can help to acknowledge them. For example, without using a lot of emotional words you might say, ‘I can appreciate that having this service for your child is important to you’.
Hold respect: Finally, no matter how negative the correspondence, aim to ‘hold respect’ when responding. It is a simple strategy with a big result. It is almost impossible to hold respect and be negative at the same time. If you hold respect you may get some back! 😊